LAUREN BERKELEY SCENES FROM WILD MOOSE CHASE
INT. FANCY DARK RENDEZVOUS OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS
LAUREN BERKELEY is sitting in the shadows of the club. She
is wearing formal evening wear. Her hair is up and she has a
fake Black Orchid behind her right ear. She is an iron woman.
Her air and attitude make her untouchable. No man would dare
approach her in spite of her beauty and charm.
LAUREN BERKELEY
You came here wearing that? And
you brought your camera equipment?
What’s wrong with you? You want to
get me caught? This will not do. I
have to call your boss to get a
replacement for you. You brought
your camera?
LAUREN flees the club quickly before MOOSE GUY can move or
respond.
FADE TO:
EXT. PUBLIC MEETING PLACE
LAUREN looks a little out of place in her formal attire.
LAUREN BERKELEY
You again? I told your boss to
send someone else. You’re too
pretty. Everyone will notice you
and I’ll get killed because you’ve
got beautiful arms and a great
tush. I don’t want to see you
again, okay? I’m not giving your
network the tape if you can’t
protect me.
LAUREN takes off into darkness again.
INT. ANOTHER HIDE-AWAY CLUB
LAUREN BERKELEY
How do I know I can trust you? How
do you prove you’re as good as your
boss says? Talk! Don’t you ever
say anything?
Tall, Dumb and Handsome, huh? I’ve
got some stuff where I’ve been
hiding. Let’s go get it before you
sweep me away.
(She starts to leave)
FADE TO:
INT. FRIENDS’ PLACE
LAUREN sits on couch looking at MOOSE GUY.
LAUREN BERKELEY
So, you’re my hero? You’re going
to protect me from the Senator’s
henchmen? You think you can handle
me? I’ve got all the power, don’t
I? That’s why you’re here, right?
As long as I have that tape your
network wants, you have to do
anything I say, right? You going
to keep me warm at night, big boy?
You going to be my hero?
(she sits sizing him up
for a long time.)
This black orchid behind my ear is
my signature accessory. I wear it
all the time, or something like it.
If I wear it, they’ll find me in no
time.
(taking flower from behind
her ear)
Until your television network comes
up with the kind of money I’m
asking for the video tape of the
Senator raping me, you’ll hold this
for me, right? And you’ll give it
back when I’m safe, okay?
(she hands flower to MOOSE
GUY)
So, where is the safe house we’re
going to? Let me get some
disguises and I’ll be ready to go.
FADE IN:
INT. FRIENDS’ PLACE
Many minutes later.
LAUREN BERKELEY (CONT'D)
LAUREN BERKELEY
Just a few more seconds.
FADE IN:
INT. FRIENDS’ PLACE
LAUREN BERKELEY
Just a minute.
FADE IN:
INT. FRIENDS’ PLACE
SHE has changed into a hootch mama, almost street walker
look.
LAUREN BERKELEY
What do you think? Hide in plain
sight, right? If they’re going to
make me go on the run with a hunk
who will have everyone staring,
I’ll give them something else,
besides my face to stare at too.
As Lauren Berkeley, high class con
woman, I’d never be caught DEAD in
this outfit, so it’s the perfect
disguise. And it’s what I’ve got.
FADE TO BLACK.
EXT. SOMEWHERE BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE FRIENDS’ PLACE
LAUREN BERKELEY
(putting down two large
luggage pieces)
Okay, you can take these to the
car.
FADE IN:
EXT. SOMEWHERE BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE FRIENDS’ PLACE
LAUREN BERKELEY
(with arms crossed)
You want the tape, you’re going to
carry my bags.
FADE IN:
EXT. SOMEWHERE BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE FRIENDS’ PLACE
LAUREN BERKELEY
What do you mean, “I’m not the one
whose life is in danger!” They
almost caught me once. Now, stop
wasting time and get these bags!
FADE IN:
EXT. BESIDE CAR SOMEWHERE BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE FRIENDS’ PLACE
LAUREN BERKELEY
(lifting a bag into trunk)
Real gentleman! Real nice piece of
shit, full of himself, hunk-adoodle-
do, mother loving, no good
for nothing like most of you
fucking asshole gentleman!
(she has put both/all bags
into trunk.)
FADE IN:
EXT. BESIDE CAR SOMEWHERE BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE FRIENDS’ PLACE
LAUREN BERKELEY
No!
EXT. BESIDE CAR SOMEWHERE BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE FRIENDS’ PLACE
LAUREN BERKELEY
What makes you think you can get me
to get into the trunk? I look
different. They won’t recognize
me. We can just drive on out of
here! Let’s go!
FADE IN:
EXT. BESIDE CAR SOMEWHERE BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE FRIENDS’ PLACE
LAUREN BERKELEY
This is the only way you’ll do it?
You’re the expert? I thought you
were just a reporter.
(getting into trunk and
talking while trunk lid
is closed)
What, you hide the ambulance
chasers who leak private
information to you? You think I’m
going to stand for this? The next
time I talk to your boss to find
out if corporate has come up with a
better offer, I’m going to --
FADE TO BLACK.
INT. CAR
LAUREN BERKELEY
(voice on film)
I’ve been in here for hours, okay
minutes. Aren’t we safe yet?
EXT. OUTSIDE OF CAR
LAUREN is brushing off her clothing and stretching to try to
make herself more comfortable. SHE is not happy.
LAUREN BERKELEY
You’re laughing, huh. I see that
smile on your face. You think this
is funny? You think putting me in
the trunk for nothing is FUNNY? Why
did you leave me in there that
long? You some kind of sadist?
I’ve got to go to the ladies room.
FADE IN:
EXT. OUTSIDE OF CAR
LAUREN BERKELEY
(roadside preparing to
urinate)
Did you bring some tissue? You
think you’re embarrassing me, but
I’ve done all this before. I
wasn’t always a high class con
artist. I used to-- will you look
away?.... Please! All right, have
it your own way.
(she gets done)
Hey, Reporter Guy, what is your
name, anyway?- -Do you know what
poison ivy looks like?
FADE TO BLACK.
LAUREN BERKELEY (CONT'D)
INT. CAR
LAUREN BERKELEY
You look at me like I’m a whore or
a crack head or something. I’m not
a whore. I had sex with the Senator
to get him on tape. It was supposed
to be just straight blackmail, but
he raped me. And when I tried to
get him to pay, he got people out
to kill me if I wouldn’t give up
the tape. I just had sex with him
as a part of the con..... I’m not a
whore.
FADE TO BLACK.
INT. CAR
LAUREN BERKELEY
Stop here! You need gas. I need to
pee and change.
(car stops )
EXT. OUTSIDE OF CAR -
We see LAUREN coming out of place completely changed.
Different character, different clothing.
LAUREN BERKELEY
You think you can give me a ride,
Mr.? Recognize me? No more Miss
Streetwalker. Hello Miss Sexy
Susan. Give me just one more
minute. I’ve got to use a pay
phone to find out how the
negotiations are going with your
boss.
(she walks to pay phone)
FADE IN:
EXT. PHONE
LAUREN BERKELEY
We’re halfway to nowhere! What do
you mean, ‘stick with your guy. He
knows what he’s doing?’ Do you
want this tape or not?
(hangs up)
EXT. CAMPOUT
Flashlight lights tent she doesn’t have anything like camping
clothing on.
LAUREN BERKELEY
This is the way you’re going to
keep me safe? Hiding me on a camp
out? Well, no one will ever come
looking for me here!
FADE IN:
INT. TENT
LAUREN is uncomfortable trying to settle in to her sleeping
bag and tent space.
LAUREN BERKELEY
Turn your head. I’ve got to change.
You’re not going to watch me
undress are you? Okay. I don’t
care.
LAUREN takes of her clothing tries to fold and place them in
her luggage and slips into sleeping bag. She turns off
lights.
LAUREN BERKELEY (CONT’D)
(in darkness of the tent)
Pervert.
FADE TO BLACK.
INT. TENT
LAUREN has slept well, she is stretching and waking up and as
she puts her arm up so that her pits are near her nose. She
wiggles nose.
LAUREN BERKELEY
Yuck! I stink.
LAUREN sits up so that we see her arms and side.
LAUREN BERKELEY (CONT’D)
You think it’s safe to jump in that
water? .... I’m going!
(she jumps up. From
inside the tent we see
her from behind as she
jumps in and skinny dips)
This is great.
(she is having great fun
in water)
FADE IN:
EXT. CAMPOUT
It is another day and another outfit for LAUREN. She is
trying to make her way through the brush with difficulty.
LAUREN BERKELEY
I don’t see why we can’t just say
in one place. Why do we have to
move the tent and campsite every
day?
FADE IN:
EXT. PHONE
LAUREN BERKELEY
I’m not being paranoid. They’ll
track me if I use a cell. So,
what’s the offer? They won’t go
any higher than 240,000 dollars?
That’s chickenfeed for a story like
this.
SHE slams down phone and comes out of phone area
FADE IN:
EXT. CAMPOUT
LAUREN has on another city outfit and they are making camp
again in another place.
FADE IN:
INT. TENT
LAUREN BERKELEY
Why do I hustle? I love to take
them down. Especially if they
think they’re invincible.
Especially if they have their guard
up.
They say I know it’s a con and I
still get them. That’s power.
That’s a thrill. That’s fun.
FADE TO BLACK.
EXT. WATER AND BEACH
We see her riding boat in bikini.
LAUREN BERKELEY
How did you get the boat? Did you
steal it? Let me sunbath on that
beach, okay?
LAUREN sunbaths trying to avoid tan lines
FADE IN
EXT. CAMPOUT
LAUREN has on another outfit and is seen sitting by a
campfire.
LAUREN BERKELEY
(softly)
I’ve been hustling all my life.
This is my one shot at getting
out. Living a quiet life. Maybe
having kids that will be proud of
their mama. What do you dream
about when you’re not being a
reporter?
FADE TO BLACK.
EXT. TOURISTING
LAUREN is acting like a tourist. They are mingling, hiding in
plain sight.
LAUREN BERKELEY
Could we get one night away from
the tent? I need to do my hair. I
need a break. I’ll pay.
I’ve got some cash. PLEEAAAASE can
we go to a hotel room?
TOURIST
(pointing at MOOSE GUY)
Oh my gosh! You’re famous! Right?
You’re the guy that- you’re famous.
You’re famous.
(they try to move TOURIST
follows)
I know I know your face.
You’re..... You’re....
LAUREN BERKELEY
You’re wrong. He’s a ‘behind the
scenes’ guy. Please leave us
alone, okay?
TOURIST
Yeah. I’ll leave you alone. But
only because you’re famous.
LAUREN BERKELEY
What a kook! So, hotel? On me?
FADE TO BLACK.
INT. HOTEL
LAUREN is in bathroom. Door is open. She does the classic
mirror shot where she looks to see that MOOSE GUY is seeing
her undress. She gets in tub, reaches to shut the door.
From behind closed door says
LAUREN BERKELEY
It was weird how that tourist
thought you were famous, wasn’t it?
You’re not actually famous are
you... Wait a minute....
LAUREN comes out of the bathroom dripping wet clinging a
towel to her front.
LAUREN BERKELEY (CONT’D)
You’re the... oh my gosh! With the
glasses and the hair and WoW you’ve
gotten buff. You’re the Moose Guy!
Do you remember me? I’m really
sorry about taking those hundreds
of dollars from you with my
girlfriend and just splitting.
Wow. I am soo sorry. You’re the
moose guy. I feel so much better!
I know you! I’ve hustled you!
Wow! Do you forgive me for ripping
you off?
FADE IN:
LAUREN is doing exercise and grooming and relaxing in hotel
room.
LAUREN BERKELEY (CONT’D)
Before I came up with the video
tape sex and blackmail thing I did
all kinds of low brow stuff.
Like.... Um, A lot of them were in
rooms like this one. I’ve pretty
well done every sex con there is.
Before I got sophistication I did a
lot of trashy stuff.
LAUREN sits on bed.
LAUREN BERKELEY (CONT’D)
Pretend I’m in a car, sitting next
to you. So I say ‘ okay for 100 you
get whatever you want. Now, prove
to me you’re not a cop. Take it
out and let me see it. Pull your
pants all the way to your knees so
I can get to you.’ Then I open up
the car door and run and he can’t
chase me because he can’t get his
pants up in time. Or, come here. I
get you to go into a dark alley. I
kneel in front of you, like this.
I’ve got the wall behind me and you
can’t see that my boyfriend is
behind you ready to knock you out.
We grab your wallet and run. Or
we’re in a hotel room like this one
You’ve got your pants off. I rip my
top like this and start yelling
‘rape’. You want me to yell rape I
ask him -- no, I won’t call the
cops. Give me everything in your
bank account or your wife finds
out. Hey, I need a drink. Let’s
go down to the bar and I’ll show
you my favorite old sleazy scam
from days gone by.
LAUREN takes MOOSE GUY to bar and does the whole drunken
woman at the bar got money to pay my tab and I’ll go to your
room with you or you can come up to my room here’s my key.
But you give wrong room number or never show up to his.
LAUREN BERKELEY (CONT’D)
LAUREN BERKELEY (CONT’D)
(stumbling back to the
room drunk)
Hey, when we go back out to tent
and campfire why don’t we try to
find your moose, for real? I
really might be able to help. You
paid me for it already, right?
FADE IN:
INT. EATING
LAUREN BERKELEY
Moose aren’t that hard to find.
Like finding a car in the big city.
So, you’re a stringer for the
network and you chase fires and
hunt down stories and you can’t
find a..... moose? You’ve been
trying all these years and you’ve
never seen one.... ever?
FADE IN:
INT. SHOP
LAUREN BERKELEY
Hey, I keep putting on disguises.
We ought to get you a change of
look. How about this?
INT. BOAT
LAUREN BERKELEY
Hiding out like tourists is pretty
boring. We really ought to look
for your moose. Uh oh..... That guy
over there. I know him. He’s
working for the Senator. He’s one
of the guys who’s looking for us!
No. I think he only sees me. Let’s
separate. I’ll meet you when the
boat stops.
See FELLOW in crowd. FELLOW sees them and starts to chase.
Lots of footage of trying to hide on boat and stuff of him
going by looking for them.
EXT. BOAT RAMP
LAUREN is running off of boat and toward MOOSE GUY. Running
and chasing stuff until they are caught.
INT. ROOM
LAUREN is tied up to a chair. She looks dishevelled but
sexy. She has just made noises. She is listening for
response.
LAUREN BERKELEY
I think he left. I TOLD you I
recognized that guy. He’ll be back
with all the Senators’ cronies to
try to get me to tell where the
tape is..... It’s actually a micro
flash drive glued inside the black
orchid flower I gave you. Where
did you put it? You still have it,
right?
FADE IN:
INT. ROOM
LAUREN gets herself free from the chair she is tied to and
comes toward MOOSE GUY to free him
LAUREN BERKELEY
Let’s get out of here. Sorry, I
made you take me on the boat.
FADE TO BLACK.
INT. CAR
LAUREN BERKELEY
Wow! That was a close call. How
many hours we been driving. Still
no one behind us. Oh my God! Look!
Really, Look! It’s a moose! I’m
not kidding! I told you if we
spent some time we’d see one! Here
let me aim the flashlight! Shhhh!
We’ll scare it. Wow. It’s
amazing!
FADE IN:
EXT. CAR
LAUREN BERKELEY
A moose! Oh, wow! We found your
moose!
We see MOOSE.
FADE IN:
INT. SAFE HOUSE
LAUREN is wearing blindfold.
LAUREN BERKELEY
I don’t understand why I have to
wear this if I the one being
protected. So, it’s your safe
house. So?
(takes off blindfold)
So, now we’re safe?
FADE TO BLACK.
EXT. SAFE HOUSE
LAUREN in many relaxed activities.
FADE IN:
INT. SAFE HOUSE
LAUREN BERKELEY
So, now you know where the video
is, you want to see it? I can play
it on this.
(she plays it)
INT. RAPE ROOM VIDEO
LAUREN is on top of someone whose legs and feet only can be
seen. She is pretending to be in the throws of wild sex but
she keeps looking back at camera to make sure it’s working.
SENATOR starts to move up and down.
LAUREN BERKELEY
Oh my that’s so big! It hurts!
Stop! Stop it now! You’re
hurting. Something’s wrong. Stop!
When I say stop, you have to
stop!!!
(she is frozen on top of
him he keeps going until
he stops. She gets up,
grabs camera and video
ends.)
INT. SAFE HOUSE
LAUREN BERKELEY
I asked how much you think it’s
worth and you say 0? Nothing?...
Because you can’t see the Senator’s
face on the video? I have records
of us going there. The video is
dated. Someone might recognize his
groans or his feet, right?....
Nothing? You’re sure? ..... You
don’t have to tell your boss, do
you? I could make it worth your
while to just be quiet.
FADE IN:
INT. SAFE HOUSE
LAUREN BERKELEY
(holding black orchid and
putting it back behind
her ear.)
Nothing, huh? All that for just
this?
FADE TO BLACK.
